How to Communicate Better in 3 Simple Steps

Do you ever leave conversations at work wondering why you bothered opening your mouth? Do you sometimes wonder how many times you have to tell somebody something in order for them to get it right? Do you feel that just don?t listen? If so, then perhaps you need to know how to communicate better.

Communication failure is one of the biggest problems faced by businesses today, especially by their managers whose job it is to solve these communication problems; if you learn how to communicate better you can prevent these communication difficulties happening at all.

You know you are heading for communication problems when it appears that the other person has stopped listening to you even before you have finished talking. You get the hint when you can?t attract everyones attention when you speak at meetings or when you are not getting anything back from the other person with whom you are attempting to have a conversation.

You can?t blame other people for this and you can?t change the way that people listen to you; you need to improve your own communication skills.

1. Pause for thought

People are only capable of listening for so long. That attention span becomes shorter if they disagree with you or become confused, so when you see your audience?s eyes glazing over, you know it?s time to stop talking. Hopefully you will have stopped before that point. If you really want to communicate better, you have to listen too. Find out what other people are thinking; not only is that the polite thing to do but it also enables you to find out what people do not understand or what the resistances are to what you are saying.

2. Keep to the point

State your points clearly and simply with no mistakes in order to be easily understood. Signal what you are going to talk about from your very first sentence by stating your aim right away. Then the rest of your talk should be the way you expand upon it and illustrate your point of view. You can ask for feedback later or allow brainstorming of ideas if you wish, but make your point clearly first to avoid confusion. At the end, you should summarize any decisions that are made and make each person?s responsibilities for action clear. Make sure each person that needs to do something after the communication has a SMART target.

3. Watch your tone

You should speak to others as you wish them to speak to you, without arrogance, hostility or sarcasm. Make sure you speak loud enough to be heard but not so loud that your tone appears aggressive. Speak with authority, having thought out your words; you will be much more credible to your audience. If you have a strong regional accent you should try to soften that and make your dialect and accent more standard, to avoid confusing your audience who may not be from the same region.

You don?t have to neutralize your accent completely as an accent can be very endearing, but you need to make sure the way you speak is standardized enough to be understood by others.

You need to learn how to communicate better because communicating well is the best way to ensure that you are listened to and understood by others.

Positive Affirmation Rewiring The Brain

A simple definition of positive affirmation states ?An affirmation is a form of autosuggestion in which a statement of a desirable intention or condition of the world or the mind is deliberately meditated on and repeated in order to implant it in the mind?.

Is this just some New Age or Far Eastern idea of meditating and planting seeds of reality disillusionment, or is the idea of affirmation, backed by Neural Science?

Although the idea of the use of positive affirmation and meditation is often associated to some New Age ?hocus pocus?, nothing could be farther from the truth.

These ideas are based on sound solid medical facts, and deal with the science of your mind and neural biology. The joining or wiring together of brain cells, is often referred to as, "cells that fire together, wire together", and the theory explains that, when we learn, groups of cells that are activated together, grow a stronger connection.

This grouping of common brain cells gives us our learned behaviour, it allows us to walk, talk, run, write, sing, in fact any learned activity we do, seemingly without thinking. But it goes much deeper than that, every bodily function and every aspect of our personality is in the wiring of these groups of brain cells.

Even before you were born your brain arranged cells or neurons in particular orders, testing and rewiring its circuits, routing and rerouting its electrical signals. The day you were born, you were programmed to function, to pump and clean blood, control an army of defence cells, feel hunger, digest and dare I see it, fill a nappy.

>From this day on you started to make use of your senses, collecting data, analysing and testing. You started to recognise smell, sound, taste and sites and form Neuron Circuits to help you identify these things again.

Was the smell good, how did I react to that taste, was this sound pleasant and did this look nice. Whatever the reaction was the first time around, will probably be the same again, the circuit is formed, the cells are structured, the brain is wired.

You test reaction and response, that?s why babies cry, you test taste and texture, you learn about pain, fear, love and laughter, and each action and re-action is wired in for future use.

So how does this process work?

The process of wiring habit, pattern or memory into your brain is in two steps.

As I have already mentioned, ?At birth, you start to make use of your senses, collecting data, analysing and testing?, this is the first process of learning. This is the action of the objective or conscious mind, testing, retesting and programming data.

The second step takes place once all the data has been passed, and all responses verified, this is then belief, we know the fact to be true and the response to be appropriate and we then pass the fact to the subjective or subconscious mind, to be programmed in biologically.

So why do we need a Positive Affirmation, if we are passing facts to our subconscious?

Quite simply, to evolve our intellect, to achieve, to overcome and to grow as a human race. Now that?s quite a statement, but I?ll go further, ?Positive Affirmation is the key to all advancement and all achievement, without exception?.

You see there is quite a biological flaw with our outstandingly clever bodies, wiring facts into our brain means that we can achieve and remember almost anything. The analysis of data, testing of response and the programming of our circuits seems a flawless system, but there is one big, giant monster of a stumbling block.

What happens if the data was wrong and the response defective or inappropriate?

So how do we overcome faulty facts? Well to coin a phrase, it?s just like riding a bike!

But seriously it is, just like riding a bike, and how you learnt to achieve this marvellous feat is the answer to the problem.

Riding a bike is one of the most unnatural things to do, your subconscious is already in charge of your balance and speed, the data has been tested, retested analysed and programmed as fact. You know how to stand up, walk and run. But a bike? Balance on a couple of square centimetres and propel yourself forward at three times the speed? I don?t think so!

?But you know it can be done, you practise, you tell your body to take the pain each time you fall, you are determined, you will achieve, overcome and ride this bike?.

This is a Positive Affirmation at work!

To help you see this as a positive affirmation let me make the statement personal lets go back to our time learning to ride a bike and say the statement to ourselves, as if we were still learning.

?But I know it can be done, I will practise, and tell my body to take the pain each time I fall, I am determined, I will achieve, overcome and ride this bike?.

A powerful Positive Affirmation!

Now lets imagine that you live in 1790 and a Frenchman gave you his new invention ?The Celerifere?, this was one of the earliest bikes, with no steering.

Your beliefs and programming about balance and speed would be the same as they were when you actually learnt to ride a bike, but your experience would be different. You would never of seen one, never have witnessed it work and I?m sure you would believe, that the idea of a bike seemed an outrageous way to move.

How then, would your ?Positive Affirmation? read?

It would probably go something like this.

?But I?m not sure if this can be done, I don?t know how much I can practise, and take this pain each time I fall, I will never do this, I can?t achieve or overcome and ride this bike?.

Hardly a Positive Affirmation, but an Affirmation all the same.

OK, so it?s easy to see how we can use a Positive Affirmation to achieve a physical goal, but it surely can?t make me earn more money, find love or be happy.

Or can it?

This is the second flaw in our biological make up.

Your subconscious does not think, it only accepts, it cannot decide. Your subconscious discharges chemicals into your bloodstream every time certain circuits are activated, and you will perceive these chemicals as emotion, but your subconscious doesn?t feel, it does not know whether these chemicals are good or bad, wanted or unwanted

If you?re in debt you will be all to familiar with the dread of the arrival of the postman, the feeling of another bill, another demand and then the bill arrives, the letter is opened, yet another demand or final notice, and you experience the feelings of despair and depression.

The event is anticipated and the relevant circuit is activated, the corresponding chemical is released and you perceive the chemical as emotion, as dread. The event happens and another circuit is activated, the corresponding chemical is released, and you perceive the chemical as emotion, as despair or depression.

But this then grows more powerfully as our bodies start to crave this chemical rush, and just like the smoker, who?s body crave the rush of nicotine or the drinker the rush of alcohol, your body is crying out for the rush of proteins that give you these emotions of dread, despair and depression and you will keep moving towards the things your body needs.

Our subconscious, does not analyse this, it does not know that you do not want this result, why should it? After all, you are the trainer, you set this in motion by practising the event every morning, you analysed it, and passed it on, therefore it must be true.

This is why the abused, seems to move from one abuser to another, or the failure to more failure and the broken heart to the heartbreaker.

Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, if you cannot see that like attracts like, surely you can see that what you think you like, you will keep moving towards by default. By your very own actions, you are what you think about.

You have today, built your destiny for tomorrow, and you will continue to become the things you fear the most, that is, until you respond, until you stand up and shout out.

?I know it can be done, I will practise, and tell myself each time I fall, I am determined, I will achieve, I will overcome and ride towards my chosen destiny?

"I will be, what I will to be?

What a Positive Affirmation.

The Power of Anticipation

As we rush about frantically preparing for the holiday season we all have a sense of anticipation. Love Christmas or loathe it those of us who live in the Western world are affected by it.

Anticipation has many guises. For little children there is the wide eyed wonder as twinkly lights and brightly coloured decorations appear overnight as if by magic. A visit to Father Christmas?s Grotto heightens the sense that something really special is about to happen.

Children?s belief in Santa is finally replaced with a strong sense of excitement for what gifts Christmas morning will bring. As we get older our focus changes. For many adults the anticipation is centred on seeing their loved ones gathered together. This can bring a pleasant and positive sense of anticipation.

On a far less positive note anticipation can be far less positive, anxiety about getting everything done in time, worry about the financial cost and the bills which will follow in January. For some a sense of foreboding becomes a deeply held sense of dread around managing truculent teenagers or difficult elderly relatives, arguments fuelled by too much time in one another?s company and too much alcohol.

For those of you who work long hours and are married to your jobs, Christmas can be lonely. The gap left by work allows enough time for you to recognise you need to do something radical about your work life balance but insufficient time to get to grips with solving the problem before it is time to return to work where you will once again be too busy to do anything to make any meaningful changes.

Negative anticipation has the power to spoil our enjoyment. Worrying about what might never happen is such a waste as by itself it so rarely changes anything.

Developing the skill of anticipation gives you the opportunity to take control of your personal and professional life in a very different way. If you would like to engage the amazing power of anticipation read on?..

The power of anticipation is amazing. It is a skill you can learn and if employed on a regular basis it enables you to maximise the resources at your disposal and helps you to manage your time effectively. It changes your mode of operation from one of fire fighting to one which allows time for strategic planning.

The strategies work in every walk of life.

Think of a game of football. If the striker passes the ball to where his team mate is at the time he kicks the player will have moved on and the shot will be wasted. All good players anticipate where their team mate will be and send the ball to that place. The skill is judging the speed and direction of the other player.

In business success is tied closely to your ability to anticipate the market. The one hundred business list published in the USA every year rarely has the same organisations in the top ten. I find it fascinating that many don?t slip a few places but disappear all together. Anticipation allows you to buy in raw materials at the best price. To plan to spread the work load over the year, minimizing peaks and troughs of work load. Appointing staff that can grow with the needs of the organization will difficulty; anticipating training needs will avoid stagnation.

As a leader and manager the skill of anticipation starts with a clear, shared vision and translates into a workable action plan delivered by well trained people who know what is expected of them. The plan is dynamic; there is a constant monitoring of performance based on the pursuit of growth and excellence. Time is made to look strategically at what is needed in the medium and long term and plans put in place to minimize risk and maximize performance.

As a team member anticipation should be clearly tuned to achieving the goals of the team. People know what needs to be achieved and are looking at how that can be done on the most effective and efficient way possible. There is a constant curiosity about how things could be improved. Underpinning the whole process is trust, good communication and a sense of contribution.

If you are always planning for things in the here and now it is likely that you will constantly chasing to catch up. I was working with a new client who is constantly late. She underestimates how long things will take, often does things for others when they probably have more time to spare and finds it difficult to say no. She finds herself stressed and feels overwhelmed by her life. She is highly intelligent and caring of others she has an interesting but demanding job but no time to organize her own life. The result is she is constantly tired, sleeps badly and is constantly chases her tail. Her story is not unique by any means.

Learning the skill of anticipation is incredibly useful if you want to take control of your life. Let me demonstrate what I mean using the Christmas theme. I have three resources available to me ? time, energy and money. All of them are finite resources, although I can buy other people?s time and energy with my money.

I love Christmas but when I worked as a Head Teacher I worked very long hours and the few weeks before Christmas were completely manic I needed to have all my attention on school and by the time the term ended I had little energy to spare. I wanted to enjoy my personal Christmas so had to find a way to make things work. Anticipation was the key. Although I no longer have the same pressures surrounding Christmas the benefits of applying the rules of anticipation are still incredibly useful.

I anticipated that I would give around 500 Christmas cards and would need a quantity of wrapping paper, bows, ribbons and labels. I always bought these in the January sales. They went in the loft until November. Net result was a considerable saving financially.

My long list of people to buy for includes seven God children, five nieces and nephews, a Great Niece and Nephew, brother, sister and partners, father and lots of friends. During the year I listened carefully and made a note in the diary if I hear one of my ?list? mention something which could translate into a suitable present. I keep a look out for things during the year and if something catches my eye I will buy it and put it away for Christmas. This can save a great deal of time and lots of energy fighting the Christmas crowds. I have been known to loose presents by putting them ?somewhere safe? and not finding them till February or buying twice for the same person. I have solved these glitches by having a Christmas list on the computer which is quickly updated each year. It also helps me to track what I have given over time. The benefit is that I spread the financial load and the last minute shopping lists are kept to a minimum.

I used the same principle I use with papers when dealing with presents. I try to handle them as little as possible so will often wrap things in batches before they go up into the loft. They are put into ?family? carrier bags so they are ready to go just before Christmas.

Labels for Christmas card envelopes were on the computer, updated well in advance of Christmas and cards for friends and family, staff, Governors and those who were associated with school written in batches whist watching the TV from November onwards. This made it far less of a chore. I was also careful to choose card designs which required less writing by me. I learned this the hard way having bought a set of cards one year which were blank for your own message making the job so much harder.

I enjoy entertaining but found I needed a creative approach to make the whole thing as stress free as possible. I cooked in advance, using the freezer to ensure that on the day I was still wake to enjoy the festivities. For example I prepared the roast potatoes and parsnips in advance ? parboiled them, brushed them with oil whist they were still hot. I placed them on the baking ray, covering them with cling film and freezing them once cool. On Christmas morning take off the cling film and pop them into a hot oven from frozen. It saves the peeling, washing up and time on the morning allowing you more time to enjoy your company.

The principle of looking ahead to see what can be usefully done in advance, of prioritizing the use of time energy and money and of breaking down the jobs into manageable chunks is applicable to any context. (You can?t eat a whole cow at one sitting but it is easy to do if you tackle it mouthful by mouthful.)

Consider your life. Where could you use the skill of anticipation more effectively?

The Power of Mind

I’m sure you have heard about the power of the mind. And also I’m sure you didn’t pay attention to that concept or maybe you didn’t give it credibility. However, you must know it’s the only way you can make miracles happen in your life. By using your mind properly you can change your life dramatically. You can object telling me you do use your mind in your own benefit, but I can show you didn’t do that. Just take a look at your daily routine; breakfast, work, fast lunch, work, date to dinner or beers with friends, maybe a session in a gym, back home to sleep, and that’s it. So, along this average routine you tell me at what time of your day you are using your mind to create, to build the lifestyle you would like to have?
LIVING A PLANLESS LIFE
As most of the people we used to watch our lives passing by inside pre-established routines inherited from our society. Most of us didn’t give ourselves the time to plan a life according to our expectations. We just let life to take us to a bank like the water in a river. We are just part of the life flow giving up to a, so called, destiny we may not agree. So, why do not give us a chance and try to use this concept in to our own benefit. Why not taking few minutes a day, or more if you can, to start building the lifestyle you deserve.
THOUGHTS AGAINST FRUSTRATIONS
Everybody has some kind of frustration, even you, so you can start unloading it from your back. Now, the question is how to do it.
It’s simple and believe it or not you have used this power in the past. It happens usually when we are in front of limit situations. Remember some “big” problem you had and as consequence of thinking a lot in the way to solve it ... , almost magically like a spark of illumination, the solution just appeared in your mind! In the same way you can overcome your frustration(s) using adequately your thoughts.
WHAT TO DO
As much people build their bodies at the gym, in the same way you have to dedicate some minutes every day to overcome your frustration(s) or to change that things you don’t like in your life. The way to do it is an adequate combination of thoughts, mind training, and will.
Thoughts are powerful. If combined with the other two elements they can make miracles happen. Jesus said “if you have the faith as the size of a mustard grain, you will be able to command this mountain throw itself to sea and the mountain would obey to you”, and where is faith?... right! in your mind! Faith is just some kind of thought. Einstein discovered the rules of the universe just by using his thoughts. Oh yeah, I can imagine what you are thinking now. You think you are not a celebrity just a regular guy with a normal life and you do not believe you can do such amazing things or discoveries. Believe me, I’m also a regular guy and maybe I won’t do things that change the world history, but you and I are able to make significant changes in our lives so we can do them more accordingly to our pleasure. In short, you can make changes in your life. You can influence for good your life with the proper use of your thoughts. You can start overcoming your frustration(s). I know that because I did it.
I know you are hesitating now and that’s a good start point. You dispose some time every day to take care of your body, to take care of your health, to take care of your appearance; so why do not care about your life. Why not dedicate some few minutes a day to build in your mind, using your thoughts, the lifestyle you want and deserve. What you have to lose. In particular, make your frustration(s) disappear.
Who influences every decision you make?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your state of mind?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your humor?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your life expectations?... Your thoughts.
Who rules your life?... Your thoughts.
Who controls your thoughts?... YOU!
So? It seems you just have to train your thoughts, right?
HOW TO DO IT
For instance, if you feel frustrated with your current job then force your mind to imagine a scene with you doing exactly what you would like to do. Imagine the scene with detail. Then create a sentence in present time like “I have a good job doing which pays me xxxxx $, and makes me feel happy”. Repeat this exercise as much as you can every day; and after some time you will start to see changes.
This is the way to induce changes in your life.
Believe me, it works!
You have to try it!
You have nothing to lose!

The Power of Dream

There area many success person said that the key factor of the success is dream. Thomas Alfa Edison said that success is determined with 95% dream and the rest is just technical.
“What is dream?” Did you ever ask to any body this following question “What is your dream?” and they replied: “Become rich”.
“What is dream?” Dream is something that you really want, both material and nonmaterial, so that you willing to work hard to realize it, whatever it cost. Dream is not just a want, however, it is a desire. In order to be able to have a dream you need to forget your actual condition. You hate to free your mind and there is nothing impossible as long as you believe in and struggle for it.
Why we need a dream?
1. An entrepreneur is not has boss, so that if you are an entrepreneur, nobody will angry when you did not work. Therefore, it is your decision to determine how big business you will operate.
2. Dream makes us release from the comfortable zone.
The main obstacle for individual to develop her/his-self is comfortable zone. She/he does routine activities without realizing that she/he is not doing the best for her/his-self yet. Strong dream can make you free from comfortable zone, releasing all of your potential, and reach out all the best for your life.
The last question is, “Do you have a dream?” What is your dream? Are you ready to struggle to realize it?
3. Change!!!
Albert Einstein said that the definition of new insanity is when a person wants to have different result but still doing same things. How about you? Do you want a change in your life? Have you done things differently? Many people want a change in their life, but not willing to change her/his-self.
There area three ways to make a change in your life: (1) Start from yourself, (2) Start from smallest things and (3) Start right now.
Initially, a change is not comfortable situation, however, you will accustom to it and you increasing feel comfortable.
Do you know that only one thing in the world that truly impossible to be change? It is your past! In addition, the good news is, it is ended right now. You are free to decide what future you have and the true is your future is collection of today. Then do your best right now. Filling your day with do best things for your future and bright future will be yours. Happy change!